Is there ocean in Toronto? Suck it up. You're moving.

The details are still unfolding, but it appears the Flames have traded Phaneuf, Sjostrom and d-man Keith Aulie (Calgary’s 3rd ranked prospect by Hockeyfuture.com) for forwards Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman, Jamal Mayers and versatile defenseman Ian White.

Holy Schnikes! What a deal.

On the surface, I totally don’t get it for Toronto. They already have a ton of hard hitting D and they need help up front, and now they just traded their 2nd and 5th leading scorers. Ummm….okay….There must be something else happening here for Toronto. They must have a lead on dealing Komisarek or Beauchemin for a high scoring forward otherwise this is majorly puzzling. I do like them picking up Aulie, another good young player for them to develop with Kadri and company.

For Calgary, they change the image of their team instantly and acquire two very solid secondary scorers, which has been a major problem for them. They just got deeper and more talented on their 2nd line and this certainly makes more sense than holding out hope by dealing Phaneuf for Kovy and praying he doesn’t leave for Russia. Getting Ian While in this deal was the key, he is a very underrated player and can provide the production Phaneuf was giving them for much cheaper.

I have to give this one to Calgary, pending the next move by Burke which has to involve moving another d-man. Since they just gave up scoring, might they be interested in a Clowe for Beauchemin swap that Mike and I have been touting for months?

What’s your take?

UPDATE: ESPN IS REPORTING JASON BLAKE AND VESA TOSKALA TO ANAHEIM FOR JEAN SEBASTIAN GIGUERE.

Save the opening ten minutes of last night’s game, the Sharks put in a really good effort.  The second and third periods were more or less how we expected the entire game to be- fast, end-to-end, with dynamic chances.   After the longest layoff since mid December, the Sharks started the game flat, which certainly includes Nabby.  They coughed up three goals before you could say “Kris Versteeg douchey sunglasses.”  While the first goal was clearly a missed assignment, leaving Byfuglien alone in the high slot for an open shot, I thought the second two were mostly on Nabby.  He had plenty of time to get in position on Brower’s first of the night, leaving the near side open.  Then, on the third goal, a shot came from a sharp angle, and instead of Nabby kicking it to the corner or directing it behind the net, it was kicked back to Hossa, who passed it to Ladd for the tip-in.  I might have pulled Nabby right then and there.

But give the boys some credit- they woke up, and managed to tie the game eventually on the NHL’s #1 team in terms of shots and goals against.  Going back to the formula that beat the Hawks in their barn on December 22nd, the Sharks were shooting high all night on Huet, and several missed seemingly by millimeters.  All this without Marc-Eduouard Vlasic, who Doug and I only noticed wasn’t out there in the middle of the third.  He actually only played 7:25, his normal load for the first, and never came back for the second or third.  The fact that Huskins had more ice time than he’s had all season (25:46), Murray third most all season (23:54), and Blake third (24:26),  seemed particularly evident on the last play of the game, when Murray rushed the puck deep, the Hawks produced a turnover and an ensuing rush, and Murray looked even slower than usual in getting back in the play- from where I was it looked like dead legs.

I can’t find a single report that even mentions Vlasic’s injury, much less the extent of it.  I expect Pollak should have something on his blog today.  All I can say is, Boyle, we missed you, and Vlasic, get well soon.  Hurt even more because he had another strong offensive night, being in exactly the right place and passing the puck perfectly to Pavelski.  Say that three times fast.

Patrick Kane shows off what his Quenneville gave him on a classy limo ride in Vancouver with teammates.

It’s the night before the big game vs. the San Jose Sharks, and there’s no doubt the Chicago NudistHawks forward Patrick Kane will be out looking for a good time. In case you haven’t heard, there are some interesting pictures floating around of Kane living the Canadian high life with fellow forwards John Madden and Kris Versteeg on a road trip to Vancouver.

So, I thought it the neighborly thing to do to offer a few suggestions where Mr. Kane might be able to have a few Miller Lites and get his chest quickly manicured.

#3: HARRY’S HOFFBRAU

I'll get the Open Face Versteeg Sandwich please, hold the giblets.

The best place in the South Bay for a hearty helping of stuffed cabbage and a full service manzilian. Patrick Kane and friends are sure to be at home here as they tilt back a few ice cold brews, take in the honeys, and nibble on a giant turkey leg. Don’t drink and drive boys – make sure to call a cabbie, and this time bring the correct change, Mr. Kane.

#2: HOOTERS

"Am I a B cup?"

Although based on this photo, it looks like the Blackhawks players are fascinated with their own sweater puppies.

#1: MANLEY’S DONUT SHOP

Look Mom! No dignity!

At this San Jose landmark, Blackhawks center John Madden can flex his guns while getting the special “jelly filled” chest waxing. I didn’t realize it was required to have a shaved chest to play for an original six team? When will those freshly waxed photos of Bob Gainey emerge? I’m sure Georges Laraque is searching for them as I type.

Just for the record, NudistHawks. Keep your oddly shaved selves out of our locker room. We’ve got our own exhibitionist and he’s proud to be au naturale.

Mike and Doug bask in the continues success of the Sharks this week, trying to decide exactly what make the wins over the Ducks and Sabres so satisfying.  The Dudes propose a new DOH event (see poll), and take a bunch of interesting listener emails.

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This week is the Week of Secondary Scoring.  I read these posts on Fear the Fin ten days ago, and they put into blog form what everyone was a little worried about – the fact that Heater and Patty were scoring all the goals.  This week, all that changed.

My analysis is different from FTF because I included Joe Thornton, trying to make a distinction between top scorers, top lines, and balanced scoring.  Partly because I think you can’t say Heatley and Marleau would be scoring at the same clip without Big Joe’s 67 54 assists this year.  And also partly because if your top two scorers are on different lines (like Kopitar and Brown in L.A.), your scoring is more balanced than Detroit, Anaheim, and the Sharks, whose top three scorers are on the same line together.  Keep in mind this is an inexact science, since many coaches shuffle lines fairly regularly.  I got these lines from the most recent games these teams have played, thanks to timeonice.com.  Here they are, in current conference standing order.

As expected, the Sharks are way out front, the top line scoring over 20 goals more than any other top line, and accounting for more than two out of every five goals scored.

But this past week, and admittedly it’s a small sample size, it’s wildly different.  The top line, in the four games this week, scored 5 of the 22 goals scored, or 22.7%, lower than any other top line on this list.  The Olympic Line (or the Burger Line, or the HTML line, whatever) will be staying together for the conceivable future, and teams have been targeting them all season to no avail.  That’s not to say that they couldn’t suffer a letdown, maybe after the Olympics, or in the playoffs (again.  Do I really have to type ‘again’ again?).

So which is better- having an unstoppable first line, or having four very even lines like Buffalo had on Saturday?  Frankly, I want the superstars putting up superstar numbers.  If the Sharks only have three guys that can score at all, it doesn’t matter how the lines are constituted, we’ll be in for another playoff disappointment.  But the opportunities presented themselves, Boyle was out of the lineup, and the second and third lines stepped up.  I’m very encouraged.  If Patty, Jumbo, and Heater decide to put up six goals between them per game and freeze everyone else out, I’ll find a way to live with it.

Me no like Blake. Me want Boyle or Demers.

Just a quick hit from last night’s game. The Sharks responded as we all hoped they would and have now made it five in a row over the Ducks. You think that’s not intentional? I can only imagine it is an unwritten team goal to sweep the season series with the Ducks this year and they are one more win away from just that. It makes me tingle inside with giddiness.

What did everyone think of the new D pairing last night? It certainly brought out the best in Vlasic and Blake, so has the coaching staff stumbled onto something here in Boyle’s absence? I thought Vlasic played his most aggressive game of the season, tying his career high of five shots and burying a goal from the point. Rob Blake got into the action and scored as well, activating from the point and batting in a Joe Thornton laser. So, is it coincidence that Blake and Vlasic played more effectively without each other, or are they just a mismatched couple to begin with? On paper, Blake and Murray seems like an immobile disaster, but they played pretty effectively together. They were out there for the Ducks goal, but Blake and Murray were out there in some form for every goal last night. Demers and Vlasic were fun to watch, pushed the tempo and it seemed to free up Vlasic’s game – which was also odd. But, whatever works baby.

So, is it time to break up the band? When Boyle returns, slide him next to Pickles, or if they decide to scratch Leach, play Boyle with Huskins. Could this solve the Sharks inconsistent returns on the blueline this year?

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, HERE’ S CLOWE BEATING THE TAR OUT OF RON JEREMY.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M8dSW6Mhoo[/youtube]

I'm George Clooney...without the beard and guest spot on Facts of Life

News just broke that Dan Boyle will miss tonight’s game with an “upper body injury” and the star of UP IN THE AIR, Jason Demers, will be taking his place.

No problem.

Normally, I’d be wetting myself at the thought of Dan Boyle not suiting it up tonight, but I’m actually curious to see how they look without him. It’s going to be a telling sign if the Sharks will be business as usual, riding high as they have been for the last two games, playing their best hockey of the season or if they will go totally in the toilet, spiraling into an embarrassing home loss to the Ducks. This is where good teams can come together and overcome the short-term absence of great players to collect a few gritty victories.

How will Jason Demers do with a featured role? Will Vlasic flourish or sink when given more minutes and asked to push the tempo and lead the rush?

The Sharks should be given credit this season for managing their injuries effectively and not rushing players back when they’re not ready to play at their potential. If Boyle is dinged up, I’d rather have him sit out until next Thursday against the Blackhawks than get roughed up tonight against the Ducks. Pick your battles at this point and tonight, the Sharks have made the smart play.

This will also give management a chance to see what hockey life looks like without Boyle. If he went down with a long term injury, I would fear that all Stanley Cup hopes would be dashed. So, if the Sharks stumble and regress tonight, doesn’t Doug Wilson have to consider making that trade of forward depth for another quality puck mover to balance out the roster?

I think the Sharks are riding high, and while the Ducks have been hot winning 7 out of 8, they still aren’t very good on the road. In January, the Ducks are 5-0 at home but a meager 2-3 on the road. Last time I checked, the Sharks have thumped the Ducks four times this year, winning in regulation every time by a total score of 16-6. I expect the Sharks to win a close one without Boyle. Sharks 4 Ducks 2 in regulation. Everything remains right in the world.

GENERAL HOCKEY NEWS

I guess Bob Gainey has carte blanche to do anything he wants in Montreal without any consequence? This latest move from the outside seems pretty tacky, sending enforcer Georges Laraque home and banishing him from the team while he is dealing with the tragedy in Haiti. It’s not just the tackiness of the move, it’s the fact that Gainey gave Laraque a three deal deal with a no movement clause. Who does that with an enforcer? Bob Gainey does. He is one more move away from approaching Mike Milbury status in my book, and it could come when he trades Halak, clearly the better goalie, for some sort of spare part. Good luck Canadiens fans. You’re going to be mediocre for a long time as long as Gainey is running the show. He’s turned into the Don Nelson of hockey. “Sorry Georges. We will tolerate Alex Kovalev’s mediocrity and the illegal gambling of the Kostitsyn’s, but when you underperform on my watch – you’re toast!”. What a joke.

Collect your cash and live to fight another day.

Mike and Doug celebrate the two resounding wins against Los Angeles and Calgary.  Although there’s plenty of hockey yet to be played, the Dudes try to put their fingers on what led to the huge goal outburst and convincing wins in the past week, and how the Sharks can keep it going.  Also, trivia is back in a slightly different form, go ahead and play along while you’re listening.

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Hello, I'm Devin SetoCleanGuchi. I score goals and remove stains.

If you can imagine the scene at Torrey Mitchell’s place this morning. The sound of a Flowbee at full speed. Locks of hair flying into the hallway. And a line up of Ryane Clowe, Rob Blake, hell even Jonathan Cheechoo flew in from Ottawa to get in on this goal scoring miracle.

Shaved Head You Get, Two In The Net. (Pizza not included)

The Sharks put forward a good effort against a pretty lousy team in the Edmonton Oilers, but the most encouraging thing was the rebirth of the Sharks secondary scoring – which is a major key to their long term success. With Seto netting two and Malhotra, Pavelski and Clowe getting in on the act on two of the goals must have resulted in a collective sigh of relief in the dressing room. Perhaps we should offer this head shaving solution to others in the world community. Hey Charlie Sheen, Kim Jong-il and those two losers who crashed the White House dinner – Torrey Mitchell’s Flowbee awaits and all your problems will go away.

As we look ahead to a more meaningful matchup against a better team on Monday night, the schedule makers have done the Sharks a favor. Calgary will have to play the Ducks, who have won six straight at home (are they slowly figuring it out? Don’t look now, but the Ducks are only 8 points out of the playoffs, gulp). The Flames might be beat up and ripe for the picking on Monday night and it’s a shot for the Sharks to make a statement that they can beat the good teams. While we’ve given the Sharks some grief for not playing well against the elite teams in the NHL, they are 2-0 against the last two division leaders they’ve faced, Chicago and Washington. A win over Calgary and Buffalo in the coming week will certainly make everyone feel better about this team’s chances against the quality clubs.

I’m off to Torrey Mitchell’s place to change my own luck…perhaps he should consider getting the buzzcut himself?

The story of last night was three guys, two of which you probably expected- Joe Thornton and Tim Thomas.  The third?  Daniel Paille.   This guy, who was drafted in the first round in 2002, was being ground into obscurity in Buffalo before being traded to Boston this year for a third and a fourth round draft pick.  Paille, who played not a single second on the power play (that would be zero point zero) managed seven shots and a goal, and from my vantage point, seemed to be either creating chances or in on them all night.  And although this article sings his praises in Boston, it’s about his prowess as a penalty killer, not as a offensive juggernaut, which he seemed to be last night.  I certainly noticed him much more than Marco Sturm, who played four more minutes and (allegedly) registered six shots.

Tim Thomas, being the unconventional, floppy goaltender he is, came up big several times, to keep the Sharks almost off the board, the only goal coming from a flukey loopy duck of a shot that fluttered over his head before big Joe put it in.  He did manage to crack the tough nut (I’m being sarcastic here) of Ryane Clowe in the shootout, not biting or freezing at all on Clowe’s forward fake, easily gloving Clowe’s predictable backhand roof shot.  Really Clowe.  It’s a great move.  Great.  But you need more than one, if only to give the appearance you’re not going to use it every single time.

So the title refers to Chara scoring in the shootout on a slap shot, a move about a predictable as Clowe’s.  As soon as I saw the lumbering Slovak throw his gigantic feet over the boards, I though to myself, “slap shot between the circles” and I was right.  Not that it takes a genius to figure that one out, he’s got fewer moves than the new guy on The Pickup Artist.  But the 87-inch stick (or whatever the hell it is, I’m sure it’s taller than Scott Nichol) flexed almost in half when he beat Nabby on the stick side.

The second line continues to struggle, with Seto gripping the stick so hard it’s leaving impressions.  There’s no fun in his game right now, it’s a grit-your-teeth, I-need-a-point-so-bad-I-peed situation.  I have no idea how you relax when you’re in a brutal slump in a contract year, but he has to find a way.  Yoga.  Trancendental meditation.  Mescaline.  Whatever.

With goaltenders in the game playing that well, it almost doesn’t matter who’s out (Marc Savard, Patrice Bergeron) or how much you dominate in the faceoff circle (42-24, jeezus).  While it’s certainly disappointing, with Thomas and the new one-man wrecking crew Paille on their respective games, I actually feel fortunate the Sharks got a point.  But Clowe still needs a new move.