Now in easy-to-read-bulleted format, made in chronological order, based on the IM conversation grier and I had during the ceremony:

• Adam Graves should have treated himself and bought a new tooth for the show. And gotten a tux not made of pleather.
• Jason Blake looks bad, it’s almost as if he had cancer or something. Oh, whoops. Too harsh? How about the fact that he cried like Mike Schmidt?
• When they asked the kid wearing the Sharks jersey what his favorite team was, and he didn’t say the Sharks, I wanted to kill somebody.
• If I had to pick between Datsyuk’s unintelligible acceptance speeches or Sally Fields’ “You like me! You really like me!” speech, I think I’d go with Fields.
• grier thought it was weak that Boudreau won because he didn’t coach the whole season, but my position remains that looking like Mickey Rooney trumps little faults like that.
• When Ron McLean took that fake cell phone call , grier IM’d, “It’s Kevin Lowe with an offer sheet.” Much funnier than whatever crap McLean then said. And thank God that whole cell-phone-call-during-the-awards-presentation thing hasn’t been done before.
• We all agreed Kane was going to win the Calder, but his speech was the BEST. Especially when he implied that all of his teammates want to have sex with his sisters.
• What can you say about the Gordie Howe lifetime achievement award? I heard that already existed. It’s called the “Hall of Fame”. Tie: $1.99. Shirt: 3.50 at Old Navy. Suit: $32 at Goodwill. Stiches and dentist bills: $354,765 800 goals: priceless
• When they did the split screen thing for the Norris, wasn’t it great how they cut half of Phaneuf’s face off so they could get Elisha Cuthbert fully in the frame? Smart choice, CBC producers. And they had to go back to them during Lidstrom’s speech.
• I bet $5 that Broduer would win, and I’m eager to collect. People like SV% more than other stats, except when they don’t.
• AO, yawn. I think he was living out his nightmare of standing in front of a room of people in his underwear- he looked that uncomfortable.