To those who saw or heard about the game last night, this story will be decidedly anti-climactic. Others, read on. So Bill Guerin has been scoreless since he joined the Sharks at the trade deadline- 6 games, no goals, no assists. And not only that, he’s been largely unnoticed on the ice. Victor Chi, on the Sharks beat for the SJ Mercury makes a good point- he hasn’t gotten much practice time with his linemates (Marleau and Pavelski) because they’ve been hurt or sick most of the time lately.

So last night the Sharks are completely dominating the game in terms of puck possession, and Guerin drives down the right side on a seemingly routine play, and slides the puck towards the net sort of as an afterthought. It goes right through Patrick Lalime’s legs for the first goal of the night. Maybe that’s why Lalime’s been on 3 teams the last three years. Anyway, the Sharks score two more in the first, one in the second, but sort of stagnate a bit in the 2nd period and get outshot, but not scored upon.

The 3rd period, they’re jumping again. Joe and Grier score, and then Guerin scores again, on the power play. Nice little backhand coming from behind the net. So now the fans are rustling a bit- Guerin now has three points, and there’s still time for a hat. Guerin has a couple more chances, but nothing goes in. Then, with only seconds left in the third period, Guerin gets a clear chance at the goal, but hooked from behind. Penalty shot!

Sure, the game is 6-1 at this point, so another goal means precisely nothing, but it was pretty electric in there. Guerin had a hat trick against the Sharks while he was with the Blues, and now he might have one for us, his first three goals in a Sharks uni. Crowd on its feet, many waving hats in the air in anticipation, myself included, although it’s my beloved Sharks hat.

Guerin skates down slightly left of the goal, pauses, and calmly shoots the puck right through the 5-hole. Pandemonium. Hail of hats. I let mine fly just as the red light went on. Someone relayed it onto the ice for me, and the cheers continued for a long long time. Great stuff.

You’d think we won a playoff series in there, as opposed to beating up on the 13th-best team in the Western Conference. Still, time to buy a new hat.

It’s funny because it’s almost true.

So a couple of big hits in the past week or so have given rise to much hand-wringing about shoulder-to-head contact, and late hits. The first incident was Chris Neil blindsiding Chris Drury, sparking a huge brawl, including a goalie fight. Drury needed 20 stitches to close the cut, and suffered a concussion.

The second was Cam Janssen hitting Tomas Kaberle. Kaberle’s head hit both the ice and the boards, and was carted off on a stretcher. Kaberle, who suffered a concussion, is out indefinitely.

I usually like John Buccigross, and appreciate his allegiance to hockey, one of the only SportsCenter anchors who seems to care, but I don’t agree with his analysis exactly…

I don’t understand why a shoulder pad to the head is not equivalent to an elbow to the head. This is a hit that needs to be outlawed in the NHL.

Bucci is he biggest Drury fanboy out there, so of course he feels this way. I too think the hit on Drury was dirty, but for a different reason. it was blindsided. Drury did not have the puck, had no reason to think he was being run, and had no means to defend himself. Same with the Kaberle hit, although that’s a little more arguable. Janssen didn’t even begin to initiate contact until well after Kaberle finished his pass. Kaberle wasn’t anticipating the hit, and couldn’t defend himself.

What we don’t want is a shoulder-to-head review committee. What if Zdeno Chara hits Alex Tanguay? Or Scott Parker hits Martin St. Louis? The height different is so great that it’d be hard for it not to be a shoulder-to-head contact. That is not the problem. The real problem is the timing of the hits, and the position of the players. If it’s well after the play, then it’s a penalty. If it’s blindsided, then it’s a penalty. If the player is injured and misses time, then the offending player gets a suspension and hefty fine.

There’s definitely an equipment component to all this as well. Most shoulder pads have hard plastic plates in them now, which can do more damage and even cut somebody. In many cases, illustrated in the Kaberle hit, players do not wear their helmets tightly, and they slip or fall off completely upon contact. This latter thing should be rectified immediately. If your helmet can slip out of position when you shake or nod your head violently, it should be an equipment violation. How much longer would have Pat LaFontaine’s career been if he wore a good helmet all the time? He had a specially-made one late in his career, but the damage was already done.

If the league wants to ban hard plastic plates in shoulder pads, I’m ok with that too. The ‘cleanest’ NHL hit is a shoulder to the chest, or shoulder to shoulder. With players skating at upward of 30 mph sometimes, the contact point will move quickly. You can’t leave your feet to make the hit, you can’t run someone after the play, and you have to hit them so they can brace for the contact or defend themselves. Don’t take contact out of hockey.

Now that we’ve added salary (Rivet and Guerin) and only subtracted a little bit (Gorges, Nieminen, Parker) the Sharks must be pretty close to the upper limit of the salary cap. Salary caps are a very complicated matter, with a truckload of rules, stipulations, regulations, and minutia. But I’m kind of a math geek, so I get off on that stuff. Maybe I should study up and become a “cap guru”. Yeah, like I don’t have enough to do already.

I’m constantly learning new things about it, and all the details are ridiculously obscure. Maybe someday I’ll do my version of ‘Salary Cap 101’. Here are a couple of good sites that have information on the cap situation for all NHL teams. The former is a bit easier to read, but doesn’t seem to have all the updates the trade deadline brought. I’m sure it will be a little while for it to be current.

Quick Correction: I said in my Ryan Smyth trade post that he is the captain. That’s not correct, we wore the ‘A’, and not the ‘C’. Jason Smith is the current captian of the Oilers. For a list of all NHL captains, you gotta love wikipedia.

For a 7th round pick to the Pens. I guess the whole Jocelyn Thibeault thing didn’t work out so well. Kind of a crappy deal, I think Schaefer had promise. Apparently he was a unrestricted free agent after this season. So the Sharks are planning on keeping both goalies, or they have a lot more confidence in Dmitri Patzold than I thought.

Scott Parker. Maybe we can bring him back this summer. But now, the most fitting tribute I can think of.

Maybe the biggest trade today other than the Guerin trade is Ryan Smyth from the Oilers to the Islanders for prospects and a pick. Ryan Smyth was the most recognizable player on the Oilers’ roster, and the captain, so trading him sends a huge message to the franchise and fans. The Oilers are currently 9 points out of the playoffs, and the fans seem to think this is is Kevin Lowe throwing in the towel on the season. Keep in mind that Smyth is unrestricted this offseason, so it’s not out of the question he would have a triumphant return, but he’ll be asking for a significant raise and contract length. This will make playing Edmonton that much easier; keeping Smyth from clogging up the crease is a big job.

But alas, Todd Bertuzzi is coming back to the West. And not to the Blues, to a legit contender, the Red Wings. Bertuzzi hasn’t played a single game since he hurt his back last year, so it’s a risky deal for Detroit. If the gamble pays off, and Bertuzzi plays the way he did a couple of years ago before the Steve Moore incident, the Wings will be a scary opponent. An opponent the Sharks might have to face in the first round.

Possibly the worst trade from the Sharks’ perspective is Mattias Norstrom going to Dallas, another captain on the move. I guess this means the Kings are going to build around Anze Kopitar instead of Norstrom, which is a mistake in my view. So the team nipping at our heels just got a lot better on D. Shit, why didn’t we make that deal? I’d take Norstrom over Rivet every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

So far the weirdest trade has to be Colorado trading Brad May to the Anaheim Ducks in exchange for goaltender Mike Wall. The Ducks have the most fighting majors in the NHL by far. Parros, Shawn Thornton, Travis Moen, and Sean O’Donnell all fight. Why in the hell would they want another fighter? I guess they traded Shane O’Brien, another fighter, to the Lightning last week, so they were running low. Now I guess I’m surprised they didn’t go after Laraque too.

Now the Guerin trade is reported as Guerin for Ville Nieminen, Jay Barribal (prospect playing college hockey at Minnesota) and the 2007 1st round pick we got from the Devils. Nieminen’s been a healthy scratch for more games this year than I can count, so we’re not exactly giving up the crown jewels here.

Georges Laraque has been traded from the Phoenix Coyotes to the Pittsburg Penguins, in return for an 8th round pick and some guy I’ve never heard of. How the mighty have fallen. At the start of the season, Laraque was playing with Doan on their top line, and I distinctly remember in a Yotes-Sharks game at the Tank looking at the stat sheet, and seeing Laraque leading the team in points. I thought I was in Bizarro world.

But now, apparently Laraque has come back to earth, or has a serious beef with management. He basically got traded for a back of pucks, and waived his no-trade clause. And the Pens got great deal- now they have someone (other than Colton Orr) who can protect Crosby and Malkin. I’ve never heard anyone utter the words “Colton Orr is a beast”, so I say that’s definitely an upgrade for the Pens.