Smooth as a Blackhawks’ @#*
January 27th, 2010, 8:18 pm
It’s the night before the big game vs. the San Jose Sharks, and there’s no doubt the Chicago NudistHawks forward Patrick Kane will be out looking for a good time. In case you haven’t heard, there are some interesting pictures floating around of Kane living the Canadian high life with fellow forwards John Madden and Kris Versteeg on a road trip to Vancouver.
So, I thought it the neighborly thing to do to offer a few suggestions where Mr. Kane might be able to have a few Miller Lites and get his chest quickly manicured.
#3: HARRY’S HOFFBRAU
The best place in the South Bay for a hearty helping of stuffed cabbage and a full service manzilian. Patrick Kane and friends are sure to be at home here as they tilt back a few ice cold brews, take in the honeys, and nibble on a giant turkey leg. Don’t drink and drive boys – make sure to call a cabbie, and this time bring the correct change, Mr. Kane.
#2: HOOTERS
Although based on this photo, it looks like the Blackhawks players are fascinated with their own sweater puppies.
#1: MANLEY’S DONUT SHOP
At this San Jose landmark, Blackhawks center John Madden can flex his guns while getting the special “jelly filled” chest waxing. I didn’t realize it was required to have a shaved chest to play for an original six team? When will those freshly waxed photos of Bob Gainey emerge? I’m sure Georges Laraque is searching for them as I type.
Just for the record, NudistHawks. Keep your oddly shaved selves out of our locker room. We’ve got our own exhibitionist and he’s proud to be au naturale.
This might be your best post ever.
Up next… We’ll see Jumbo leading some crazed shirtless Congo line from the Brit down Santa Clara to Mission Ale house.
If Kane was a rapper, his stage name would be 20 Cent. And those girls he’s with? Eww. Even Tiger Woods wouldn’t touch them.
Kane should have left his shirt on, I can see his cross. That will be three Hail Mary’s and an Our Father, and a bit more weight in the collection envelope.