January 27th, 2010, 8:18 pm
It’s the night before the big game vs. the San Jose Sharks, and there’s no doubt the Chicago NudistHawks forward Patrick Kane will be out looking for a good time. In case you haven’t heard, there are some interesting pictures floating around of Kane living the Canadian high life with fellow forwards John Madden and Kris Versteeg on a road trip to Vancouver.
So, I thought it the neighborly thing to do to offer a few suggestions where Mr. Kane might be able to have a few Miller Lites and get his chest quickly manicured.
#3: HARRY’S HOFFBRAU
The best place in the South Bay for a hearty helping of stuffed cabbage and a full service manzilian. Patrick Kane and friends are sure to be at home here as they tilt back a few ice cold brews, take in the honeys, and nibble on a giant turkey leg. Don’t drink and drive boys – make sure to call a cabbie, and this time bring the correct change, Mr. Kane.
Although based on this photo, it looks like the Blackhawks players are fascinated with their own sweater puppies.
#1: MANLEY’S DONUT SHOP
At this San Jose landmark, Blackhawks center John Madden can flex his guns while getting the special “jelly filled” chest waxing. I didn’t realize it was required to have a shaved chest to play for an original six team? When will those freshly waxed photos of Bob Gainey emerge? I’m sure Georges Laraque is searching for them as I type.
Just for the record, NudistHawks. Keep your oddly shaved selves out of our locker room. We’ve got our own exhibitionist and he’s proud to be au naturale.